


The Chapstick Challenge! (with Dan) (obviously)

by earltrancy



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 15:28:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13034079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earltrancy/pseuds/earltrancy
Summary: “Hm?” Dan looked up from his phone over to Phil across the room and then  flinched, both smiling and pouting.“No.That giggle never means anything good.”





	The Chapstick Challenge! (with Dan) (obviously)

“Dan, Dan.”

“Hm?” Dan looked up from his phone over to Phil across the room and then flinched, both smiling and pouting. _“No._ That giggle never means anything good.”

“I haven't even said anything yet!” Phil protested even as the same mischievous giggle gave him away.

“And you _shouldn't,_ because I don't _trust_ you.”

But Phil poked his bottom lip out and Dan sighed, crossing the room and collapsing beside him on the couch, because there was no resisting those puppy dog eyes. 

“What is it, then?” Dan leaned on Phil’s shoulder to look at his laptop, sounding defeated.

Phil grinned and rested his head atop Dan’s, then circled the cursor around what he was looking at. “This one!”

Dan’s eyes widened and he poked Phil in the sides, making him squeak. _“Phiiil!_ No! That's so cheesy and clickbait-y and lame!”

“You're lame! It's my channel, and it's still a challenge thing!”

“That doesn't mean I have to agree to it!”

Phil bit his bottom lip and frowned; Dan glared back at him.

_________

“Hey guys! So today, I have a very special guest here - make a noise, special guest.”

Dan grabbed the pillow Phil had been holding in front of him and tucked it under his arms. “Do I really count as a special guest here anymore? I mean -”

“Hey! Well, no, I guess you're more of a usual guest -”

“Being a guest implies that I’m visiting, and like, after this I’m going to be somewhere else, and not just having a bowl of cereal in the next room -”

“The live-in collaboration person -”

“And ‘special’ implies that you actually have people other than me, like, ever.”

“Oh, shut up, like, I mean -”

“It's more like, ‘Hey look guys! It's Dan, the _only other person_ to ever appear on the AmazingPhil channel.’”

“Shut up! Fine. _Anyways,_ today I have a not-very-special Dan here with me -”

Dan scoffed and waved at the camera exaggeratedly. “Hi.”

“- and you might have saw me on Twitter earlier, saying to expect a lazy, challenge-y type video.”

“They might have also seen the _title_ of the video, Phil.”

Phil giggled, just smiling fondly at Dan a moment before saying to the camera, “Right! Ha, you've seen the title of the video, you know exactly what this is, so congratulations, you're getting what you want -!”

Rolling his eyes, Dan interjected, “More like _Phil’s_ getting what _he_ wants - I was completely roped into this, guys, okay, I know just how stupid and clickbait-y these things look.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn't realize it took so much convincing to get you to kiss me,” Phil teased, turning his nose up in a challenging look.

“God, fuck off, see this is exactly what I mean!” Dan sputtered, voice going pitchy at the end from annoyance. 

He rolled his eyes and made a _‘this guy’_ gesture at the camera before turning and pecking Phil’s lips.

Phil grinned and gave a quick kiss back before turning back to the camera and excitedly announcing, “It's the chapstick challenge!” He did a bit of jazz hands where he would edit in a cheering noise.

“Like I said, we don't usually do things like this, we know, i’kay? But Phil _insisted_ it would be cute, and since it's his channel, he can make it as garbage as he wants, I guess.”

“I don't really think a lot of people will be complaining that we’ve done this, Dan,” Phil said with a bit of a smirk.

“ - I mean, yeah, you've. Got a, a point there,” Dan mumbled, conceding. “Because you're all voyeurs. I’m kidding. Not really.”

Phil chuckled at him and interrupted, _“Let’s_ get the chapsticks! Or, generic lip balms, really?”

“Ahah, _yes,_ we are _not _sponsored by Chapstick, thank you.”__

__“I think it's like, ‘cause Americans call all lip balms chapstick. Like calling tissues Kleenex.”_ _

__Dan pressed his lips together and laughed silently. “Kle - _Kleenex.”__ _

___“Kleenex,”_ Phil mimicked in a nasally American accent._ _

___“Kleenex.”_ _ _

___“Kleeeenex.”_ _ _

__“Chapstick.”_ _

__“Oh, yeah!” Phil reached behind them to grab two plastic bags, which both Dan and Phil proceeded to dump out into their laps._ _

__“So, if you don't know what the chapstick challenge is, it's where two people get loads of different flavors of lip balms, and don't tell the other person what kinds they got -”_ _

__“- And you also get napkins, or something, so you can take off whatever weird thing you've put on your face,” Dan added as he grabbed a pile of napkins that he put between them._ _

__“Yeah! Right, and napkins; and we got all of these off of Amazon and places because the internet always has funny flavors of things, plus I feel that this would have made for a very weird shopping trip.”_ _

__“Oh God, definitely,” Dan eyed the camera with legitimate concern. “Awkward side eye from the cashier, the whole thing.”_ _

__“But anyways, you get all these flavors of lip balms, and the other person has to guess the flavors of the lip balms you got, and it's just like any other taste test challenge _except,_ you _have_ to guess it by kissing the other person.”_ _

__“So, I expect this to be completely _not _romantic and probably a little bit awkward, but if you're interested in that still, then let's _dive on in!”____ _

____“Dan! Shut up, it's gonna be cute!”_ _ _ _

____“Whatever you say, dear.” Dan mouthed _‘Save me’_ to the camera and Phil hit him with a pillow._ _ _ _

____“Do you want to pick first, or should I? It is your channel.”_ _ _ _

____“Hmm… You pick first. But start with an easy one.”_ _ _ _

____“Alright, alright, yeah.” Dan started looking through all the colorful containers in his lap, then looked up at Phil and laughed. “Well, look away!” He pushed him sideways playfully._ _ _ _

____“Ah! I’m sorry, I'm just excited!” Phil laughed and obediently turned off to one side._ _ _ _

____Dan rolled his eyes with a chuckle and leaned over to kiss Phil’s cheek. “Cheater.”_ _ _ _

____“I wasn't!” Phil cried indignantly, but smiled and leaned a little towards him._ _ _ _

____“They wrap these things up so much, this is definitely a waste of plastic,” Dan grumbled, fumbling with the wrapper on the package he'd chosen before finally just tearing it open with his teeth._ _ _ _

____“Okay - no, I'm showing them, not you - okay, I’m doing this one first,” Dan said in an unnecessary stage whisper, showing a strawberry-flavored lip balm to the camera, with his other hand behind it so it was in focus._ _ _ _

____He winked to the camera as he swiped it on, then hid the balm back in its bag. “Right, Phil, c’mere.”_ _ _ _

____“You're ready?”_ _ _ _

____“Mhm, taste me. ...Oh fuck’s sake _already?”__ _ _ _

____Phil giggled behind his hands at him and Dan pushed on his shoulder again. “Shut up.”_ _ _ _

____“Hold on, I’ve gotta get closer so I can taste all of it.” Phil absolutely failed to suppress his smirk, and Dan grimaced._ _ _ _

____“Just kiss me already, you cheeky shit.”_ _ _ _

____Phil happily obliged, putting a hand at the nape of Dan’s neck to pull him into a kiss. He gently sucked on Dan’s bottom lip like he was ice cream, and okay, maybe Dan had misconceived this situation a little bit, because that was nice._ _ _ _

____“Ooh, whatever that is, I like it,” Phil said excitedly as he pulled away. He smacked his lips a couple times and licked them thoughtfully. “It tastes like sweets. Or gum, maybe. But not bubblegum, like,” he dove for another quick kiss, “Like cherry? Mm, strawberry?”_ _ _ _

____Dan smiled, but raised an eyebrow. “Ooh, good. But which one?”_ _ _ _

____“Strawberry,” Phil claimed hesitantly._ _ _ _

____Dan chuckled. “Yeah, that's it,” he nodded as he reached for a napkin. “Oh, did it make my lips pink?”_ _ _ _

____Phil took the slightly pink-stained napkin and wiped his own mouth, then tossed it in the general vicinity of the bin. “Just a little bit. Was kinda cute actually.”_ _ _ _

____Dan snorted and looked down, and Phil shook his shoulder. “It was, really! But it's my turn, so don't look.”_ _ _ _

____Eyes closed, he giggled and bumped Phil in the side. “Do it.”_ _ _ _

____Phil smiled and showed the camera his choice before putting it on. “This one should be pretty easy too, I think.”_ _ _ _

____“Can I look now?”_ _ _ _

____“Yeah!” Phil patted his knees eagerly. “I wanna know what you think of this one.”_ _ _ _

____“Oh God, now I'm scared,” Dan laughed as he turned to face Phil again._ _ _ _

____“No, no! It's nice, I promise.”_ _ _ _

____Dan gave the camera a deadpan look. “Would _you_ trust him? No.”_ _ _ _

____“Hey! They’d trust me!”_ _ _ _

____Dan just cupped Phil’s cheeks and kissed him, partially to shut him up - then he moaned exaggeratedly and bit at Phil’s lip._ _ _ _

____“That's chocolate. That's literally just chocolate - as if he wasn't already attractive enough to me, fuck’s sake.” He moved one hand up into Phil’s hair and kissed him again harshly._ _ _ _

____And Phil could kind of see now why Dan had thought this was a silly idea, because it took serious concentrated power of will to pull away and not just melt under Dan’s attention._ _ _ _

____“Alright, alright then,” Phil laughed, smoothing his hair down where Dan had grabbed it. “Well, you got it right, and I think we’ll be saving that one -”_ _ _ _

____“Don't you _dare._ That should be bloody illegal.”_ _ _ _

____Phil just winked in response._ _ _ _

______________ _ _ _

____“Alright, now we’ve done a few nice ones, I think we should get into some _weird_ flavors!”_ _ _ _

____With a pinch to the bridge of his nose, Dan sighed out, “Here we go… No, wait, I wanna go first again, I have a good one.”_ _ _ _

____Phil winced at the wicked change in tone. “I’m scared!”_ _ _ _

____“No, no, come on, let me do this, this was your idea -”_ _ _ _

____Though he crossed his arms, Phil closed his eyes as well. _“Fine._ You always have to do something gross -”_ _ _ _

____“You're the one who's been making all the innuendos! Now shut up, this’ll be funny.”_ _ _ _

____“For me?”_ _ _ _

____“Probably not. But for you it will be!” Dan held up his next pick, an ugly yellow-orange balm with a container in the shape of a cheese wedge. “Now, I chose this one not only because I knew Phil would just love it,” Dan spoke as he opened the little pot and used a finger to put some on, “but also because I just thought it was hilarious, because who the hell would think of this? Who the hell would _use_ this?”_ _ _ _

____“Us, apparently,” Phil grumbled, “What is it?!”_ _ _ _

____Dan grinned evilly, “Why don't you find out, Lester?”_ _ _ _

____Phil pouted; he surged towards Dan and then flinched away twice. “I’m scared!” He repeated. Dan sighed dramatically._ _ _ _

____“Just pretend like it’s the sugar cookie one you liked, come _here!”__ _ _ _

____“But it's not!”_ _ _ _

_____“Phil!”_ _ _ _ _

____Phil whined, but leaned in again - and this time when they were close enough Dan grabbed his shoulders and pushed their lips together._ _ _ _

____Which was kind of hot for all of about two seconds, and then Phil pushed him off. _“Eugh._ What _is_ that?!” He asked the question as if this lip balm had personally insulted him._ _ _ _

____“Nuh, uh, you've gotta guess, Philly,” Dan singsonged with a grin, thoroughly enjoying himself._ _ _ _

____He turned to the camera and said in a flat tone, “For what it's worth, I can taste it too, and it is definitely, uhm. _Interesting._ But totally worth it - _c’mon,_ babe, take a guess!”_ _ _ _

____“Something nasty. I don't like it,” Phil whined at Dan’s laughing._ _ _ _

____“Nope, you've gotta really do it, come on, have another go.”_ _ _ _

____“This is like, the _least_ I've ever wanted to kiss you.”_ _ _ _

____Dan just raised his eyebrows; Phil whined and pressed forward tentatively. He more licked Dan’s lips than kissed them, and still sputtered as he pulled away._ _ _ _

____“Eughhh. Bluh! Is that _cheese?”__ _ _ _

____Dan laughed aloud and clapped to the camera as Phil shook his head and grabbed for a napkin._ _ _ _

____“That’s totally unfair! You're the worst person.”_ _ _ _

____“Am I? I'm sorry, sweetheart, can I kiss it better?”_ _ _ _

____Phil started to pout, but couldn't hold back a giggle as he jokingly pounded on Dan’s shoulder. “Not ‘til you get that crap off your face, heathen.”_ _ _ _

____Grinning, Dan conceded and wiped his lips on a napkin. “I admit that that is not the most _wonderful_ taste in the world - still worth it though,” he told the camera, holding up the plastic cheese wedge again. _“Cheddar flavored lip gloss._ Oh, so it's a gloss? Like makeup? God, who would -”_ _ _ _

____“Now I’m just imagining some girl who knows the guy she's on a date with really likes cheddar cheese, and -”_ _ _ _

_____“Okay,_ Phil, I'm gonna stop you right there,” Dan proclaimed with a troubled look, “‘cause that could've gone somewhere _really_ disturbing, so anyway, it's your turn.”_ _ _ _

____“Well, alright, but I don't really wanna do one that's too strange, because I still taste artificial cheese in my mouth.”_ _ _ _

____“There really is no way to make that sound appetizing,” Dan agreed thoughtfully._ _ _ _

____“So I know what one I wanna do, you don't look,” Phil turned and Dan covered his eyes in compliance, “It is… _this_ one,” he said to the camera._ _ _ _

____“I actually do think I trust this one,” Phil continued as he opened the container, “Just because it's so cute, like, look at the little drawings!”_ _ _ _

____“Famous last words.”_ _ _ _

____“Shush.” Phil held up the little tube to the camera again, waiting for it to focus and then showing the tiny popcorn drawings decorating it._ _ _ _

____“I actually really hope this one is nice.” Phil rubbed the balm on, then nodded. “I’m trying not to taste it myself, it _smells_ good.”_ _ _ _

____“Can I look, then?”_ _ _ _

____“Yeah! C’mere.”_ _ _ _

____Dan chuckled, turning towards him. “That was cute.”_ _ _ _

____“What was?” Phil gave him a look._ _ _ _

____“Your little ‘yeah!’, it was like a sound effect.”_ _ _ _

____Phil rolled his eyes with a little smile. “Oh, shut up.”_ _ _ _

____Dan giggled, leaning into him. “No, I mean it, it was cute. Now let me kiss you.”_ _ _ _

____The little smile grew and Phil just nodded and turned._ _ _ _

____“I swear you're like a puppy,” Dan commented with an answering smile before pulling Phil in again._ _ _ _

____“Oh, that _is_ nice!” He sounded incredulous as he moved away._ _ _ _

____Phil crossed his arms and smirked. “See, I _told_ you. _You're_ the one who's being mean in this video.”_ _ _ _

____“I’m regular mean! You're like, sweet and adorable no-one-would-suspect-you mean.”_ _ _ _

____Phil grinned and poked his tongue out. “Mayyyybe. But not this time, now guess!”_ _ _ _

____“Alright, alright, is it like, savoury? It tastes salty. But, like, good.”_ _ _ _

____“It is savoury, yeah. Need more?”_ _ _ _

____Dan smirked. “Do _you?_ So needy.”_ _ _ _

____Phil made a face, but blushed, and hit Dan with the pillow again. “It’s a _game!”_ He whined._ _ _ _

_____“Your_ game,” Dan teased, but kissed Phil again anyway, licking over his lower lip in a way that made Phil’s mouth part almost on instinct._ _ _ _

____Phil gave an involuntary pant when Dan pulled away before quickly closing his mouth and pouting again. _“Bastard,”_ he grumbled, not even sure if he'd censor that out just to show the extent of his annoyance. _ _ _ _

____Of course, Dan just pretended not to notice. He sucked on his bottom lip as if deep in thought. “This tastes like butter. Like movie-theatre butter - buttered popcorn?”_ _ _ _

____Immediately back to his usual self, Phil grinned and clapped. “Yeah!”_ _ _ _

____Dan chuckled. “Is that your favorite one so far, then?”_ _ _ _

____“Probably, I didn't fully taste it, though, like I said.”_ _ _ _

____“Oh, would you like to? Give me some.” Dan pushed his lips out comically and Phil laughed, coating them in the balm._ _ _ _

____He took Dan’s chin in his hand and crashed their still-giggling lips together, then sucked at Dan’s lower one gently, drawing out a happy sigh from him before slowly pulling back._ _ _ _

____“That was nice, yeah. I think I do like that one the best. Dan?”_ _ _ _

____Dan took a deep breath and shook his head. _“Right,_ well, if you're really keeping that Cadbury one, I might just save this…”_ _ _ _

____Phil grinned and went for another try._ _ _ _

______________ _ _ _

____“Oh, bear, I told you you didn't have to do that,” Phil said when he saw Dan working on Phil’s own laptop._ _ _ _

____Dan smiled up at him. “Well, I was in it, I might as well help a bit.”_ _ _ _

____Phil shook his head and smiled back. “Always with the helping. Let me do the rest, okay?”_ _ _ _

____“It's nothing, but if you want, then -”_ _ _ _

____“Wait, look up?”_ _ _ _

____Dan raised an eyebrow, but obediently looked to the ceiling. “What is it?”_ _ _ _

____“Your lips look so shiny. Are you wearing another lip gloss?”_ _ _ _

____Dan giggled and looked back down. “Oh, it's just -”_ _ _ _

____“No no wait!” Phil moved his laptop from Dan’s lap, then straddled him and sat to take its place._ _ _ _

____Dan gave him a questioning look, and Phil smiled softly and took his shoulders, leaning into him. “I wanna guess,” he mumbled, then captured his lips easily._ _ _ _

____“Something sweet,” Phil whispered when he came up. “And smooth. I like it.”_ _ _ _

____Dan giggled, pulling Phil into another slow kiss. “Sweetheart, this is just my Vaseline.”_ _ _ _

____Phil bit his lip, but couldn't hold back his laugh as he cupped the back of Dan’s head to kiss him again._ _ _ _

____“Hey, those napkins were abrasive, you know,” Dan managed in an indignant whisper between more kisses._ _ _ _

____Phil just smiled and shook his head before diving for another. “I think you're just my favorite flavor,” he breathed._ _ _ _

____Dan blushed lightly just from the genuineness. “Well, _you_ still taste like chili peppers.”_ _ _ _

____“Are you complaining?”_ _ _ _

____Big hands came round to the small of Phil’s back, finally. “Not exactly.”_ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> ⚘ tumblrs:  
> main / ourstarbucksofa  
> nsfw writing / glitchdh
> 
> did i literally just write out an entire fictional amazingphil video why yes yes i did


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